Look out Brian France, step aside Tony Stewart. If NASCAR can have an awards banquet and Tony Stewart can have his “Stewie” Awards, why can’t we- the humble writers at Bump Drafts- have our own awards?
Let’s see what my hard working panel of contributors have come up with. Leading off, from the great state of Texas, it’s the lovely and talented Miss Mustang Jackie….
“Ricky Bobby” Award- Carl Edwards – For running across the finish line at Talladega
“Two-Step” Award- Kevin Harvick and Ron Hornaday- For the dual burnouts at Homestead
“Golden Parachute” Award- Ryan Newman- For longest free fall flight of a “CoT”
“S.S. Titanic” Award- Dale Earnhardt Jr.- And his 2009 season
“Full Moon” Award- Kyle Busch- For racing more miles than it took for Neil Armstrong, Mike Collins and Buzz Aldrin to land on the moon
“Ben Gay” Award- "old man" Mark Martin- for finishing second in the 2009 champ chase
“Ooops! Award”- Mike Helton- For the "no bump rule" at Talladega
“Stoopid Monkee” Award- Tony Stewart- For that dumba$$ escalator commercial
“Oh Snap! Award”- Jeremy Mayfield
“Lucky Dog Award”- David Reutimann- For surviving all those commercials with Mikey Waltrip.
Thanks Jackie. Next up, from “NASCAR Central”, in North Carolina, here’s former NASCAR mechanic Patrick Reynolds….
Michael Phelps Trophy: 3 way tie between Matt Kenseth, Joey Logano, and David Reutimann. (Rain shortened wins)
Talk Show Circuit Award For Not Winning: Carl Edwards. (Talladega crash sent him to Ellen and Larry King. Ignored winner Keselowski)
Rodney Dangerfield "I Get No Respect” Award: Jimmie Johnson (What’s he got to do for the public to admit he is good?)
“I Need A Vacation” Award: Dale Earnhardt, Jr.
“Welcome To The Front” Award: Juan Pablo Montoya
Fifteen Minutes Award: Caleb Hannan (remember the writer who thought it would be cute to trash Starbucks for sponsoring Martin Truex?)
“What Was I Thinking” Award, Part I: Kyle Busch guitar 
smashing in Nashville
“What was I Thinking” Award, Part II: Jeff Gordon signing Jimmie Johnson
“Grateful To Be Here” Award: Tie between Scott Speed and Paul Menard (It is who you know)
“Should Be Here” Award: Aric Almirola ( I would hire him)
“Upset Of The Year” Award: Brad Keselowski winning Talladega
“WOW” Award: Mark Martin and Tony Stewart: (Impressive doesn’t begin to describe what they did in 2009)
“Real Racer” Award: Kyle Busch (right foot down. And will wheel anything, anywhere. Including spending his own time and money to race)
Good job guys. Ya’ll make sure to come back tomorrow, when John “Dawg” Chapman and Jeremy T. Sellers offer up their “Speed Bump” Awards in Part Deaux of our series. Coming up in Part III, I will do my annual “Music as NASCAR Awards” for 2009.
PHOTO CREDITS- Carl Edwards by ISC, Dale Jr by Rusty Jarrett/ Getty Images for NASCAR, Beak and Buzzy by Jaosn Smith/ Getty Images for NASCAR. Busch smashing guitar by amanda 480744- to see more, visit flickr.com.
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considering that this may go down as the most boring sleep inducing (i fell asleep during 7 races and boycotted last 3 and i’ve been watching since the late 60’s wide world of sports snippits etc etc so notta noobie fan :P )season in nascar history..i’d say you could also lable cousin carl’s sprint as best finish..best racing..nuff said..
You forgot a couple of awards:
1. The “Just Enough” Award goes to Jamie McMurray, who always seems to do “just enough” to get himself a new contract when his old one expires.
2. The “I Love You Man” Award goes to Denny Hamlin for his obvious affection for Brad Keselowski.
and
3. The “JR” Award goes to Danica Patrick for best performance without actually performing that great on the racetrack.
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