‘Twas The Last Race Before The Chase

Twas the last race before the Chase and all through the shop
Everyone was anxious for the green flag to drop

The haulers all parked in a row with care
Eyes to the sky as the planes roared through the air

The drivers donned their helmets and snuggled in the seat
Visions of gaining points twas why they were there to compete

When out of the infield there rose such a clatter
The crowd sprang to their feet to see what was the matter.

The sight that met their curious eyes as they rose
Twas somebody punching Kyle Busch’s nose.

With their hair combed and ties straight the announcers came
The microphones went hot and they called them by name

“On Mark! On Carl! On Tony and Ryan! “On Kenseth! On Jimmie! On Kyle and Kurt Busch! Hey watch this ya’ll!!
Twas time for the most famous words in motorsports “Gentlemen, start your engines all!”

Thrice around the track behind the pace car they went
Everyone on their feet waiting for the big moment

Boogity Boogity Boogity!! Pull’em up tight!!
Drop the green flag!! All turns to the left none to the right!!

Mark Martin took the lead in a flash
While Dale Jr. had a breakdown and Robbie Gordon a crash.

Then all at once with a rush and a roar
There came a car from the rear they had not seen before.

Painted green and black with trim of red
Go-Daddy.com was the sponsor it said

With a driver so pretty and bright
They all said at once, “Hey, this ain’t right!”

“A girl like that shouldn’t be driving here!”
“And why does her pit crew have rings dangling from their ears?”

The green flag pit stop went kinda slow
For all eyes were on the scantily clad girl crew at the end of pit row.

She spent little time, just a splash of fuel
And a quick turn of the track bar tool

With a wink and a quick thumbs up off she went
Skillfully avoiding Clint Bowyer’s pit road incident

Coach Gibbs came on the air and spoke to Rowdy
“You gonna let her take the lead without even a howdy?”

Kyle whined and cried his usual trash
Gave her a bump but hit the wall with a crash

With a big smile she gave her finger a wiggle and a wag
Then flew across the line to get the checkered flag

Most of the crowd jumped to their feet and yelled a big cheer
While some complained and threw their empty cans of beer

On the jumbotron with Coca Cola in hand she thanked everyone
And said “To all you good ‘ol boys this has been fun!!!”

As her helicopter flew out of sight over the radio for all to hear
She said “Hey ya’ll!! Just wait till next year!!”