Do You Have NASCAR-itis?

Editor’s Note: Humor is salve for the soul when Mother Nature rains on our race day picnic. Perhaps you have found yourself dealing with withdrawal-like symptoms as you’ve had to change your plans for Sunday afternoon.

Occasions such as this are good for self-reflection, especially as it pertains to one’s health, mental and physical. For example, do you find yourself pretending you’re at Bristol when you weave through heavy traffic? Have you given your brother-in-law the “bump and run” at the go-kart track (guilty)? Do you possess a ”lucky shirt” you wear for your favorite driver’s luck on race day?  

Several months ago, Bump Drafts contributor Mustang Jackie confessed to suffering a disorder resulting from the need for speed. You may find you suffer similar symptoms.

Read and Enjoy…

I have a confession to make to all you. I am inflicted with a terrible disease. It’s name is “Nascaritis” . It comes and goes, but it usually hits me the hardest around mid-Febuary and continues ’til around the end of November.

But even mild excitement can cause recurrances, such as receiving a NASCAR item as a Christmas gift. And watching a movie such as “Days Of Thunder“ or “Talladega Nights“ can cause temporary setbacks.

Some of the more severe aspects of the disease is your heart swelling with pride during the opening ceremonies of a NASCAR race when the National Anthem is being sung. And a tingling sensation down your back when you hear “Green!! Green!! Green!!” starting the first lap.

Sometimes, a sudden deep breath will accompany the sight of the “Big One” coming out of Turn 4. And occasionally, numbness will creep down your legs caused by the involuntary sitting on the edge of your seat when your favorite driver threads his way through lapped traffic toward the front. Your voice may become hoarse from yelling at your not so favorite driver putting your favorite into the wall.

But perhaps the worse symptom is the sudden and violent jumping up and down when your favorite driver wins the race, which is sometimes accompanied with your eyes getting wet from joy.

So yes, I have “Nascaritis” and damn proud of it!!!

Other symptoms may include elevated blood pressure, spilled beverages around the sofa, and piles of neglected household chores. Should these symptoms persist beyond race day- consult your counselor, clergy or medical professional.

Be forewarned: THERE IS NO KNOWN CURE