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There’s really an evolution in Dale Earnhardt’s development of the “Intimidator” persona. In the early days, he charged hard on the track for survival. “It pays more to win” is what he once told a reporter after the “Pass In The Grass” at the ‘87 Winston. In Earnhardt’s way of thinking, not winning meant not paying the bills and taking care of his obligations.

In later years, as he experienced success, there’s little question The Intimidator learned the value of psychological warfare. Darrell Waltrip got inside opponents heads by running his mouth and making them mad. Dale Earnhardt employed mind games by scaring the other guys half to death. There was a part of him messing with you, there was also a track record he had for backing it up- as evidenced by his slew of rivalries.

Keeping this in mind- the man really didn’t seem to have a mean-spirited bone in his body. Even some of the rough hewn racers fiercest rivals were also his closest friends. Not only do Rusty Wallace and Waltrip consider “Ol’ Ironhead” a friend, we also learn from Tom Gillispie’s book Angel In Black that Earnhardt also entertained Kenny Schrader’s family and he was a more than willing mentor to up and coming drivers like Steve Park and Jeff Gordon. Earnhardt confessed that keeping consistent friends inside NASCAR was difficult given the nature of the competition. Friendships often had to take a back seat, and yet somehow, he had a way of letting a driver know if he liked or respected him.

In the movie Dale, Steve Byrnes may have said it best: Dale Earnhardt had two personalities, and one of them was an 8-year-old. Byrnes recounts spooking camera men and being a bit gruff with reporters just to see how they’d react. From his recollection and other accounts, you get the sense that Dale knew he had the media over a barrel, and let’s just say he could play that in his favor. In reality, if the “Man In Black” trusted you, you had a friend for life. You got the feeling he knew you had a job to do, just as long as you understand he had one too.

The 7-time champion was a softy when it came to kids. ESPN announcer Jerry Punch recalls that Earnhardt wanted to stay out of the public eye while recovering from neck surgery- prior to the 2000 season. A terminally ill child had as his one wish to meet the NASCAR legend. Arrangements were made to bring the boy to him to make the dream come true. Then there’s the story of the “lucky penny” given to Earnhardt before he won the 1998 Daytona 500 from an 8-year-old girl in a wheelchair. His schedule was full, but if somehow his appearance would benefit children, he was sure to be there.

On the subject of children, there was not a more proud father. The arrival of his youngest daughter Taylor came at a later point in his life when he was a little more settled and he was able to get the good start with her he could not with his older kids from his first two marriages. There was no doubt that Taylor was “Daddy’s baby.” At the other end of the spectrum- Earnhardt’s bond with his oldest son Kerry really didn’t take root until the 3rd generation Earnhardt racer was in his teens. It would seem that whatever Dale didn’t offer early in life, he worked hard to somehow make up for later in life.

Dale’s middle children- Dale Jr. and Kelley- came from his second marriage. As he achieved NASCAR success- the two came to live with their dad. Living inside the world of NASCAR, interviews reveal an understanding by Junior and Kelley of the demands on their father’s time. Though it was in somewhat short supply, all sides made the most of every moment. In interviews shortly before his death, Earnhardt spoke with pride and satisfaction of all four of his children.

I remember well comments made by a former boss of mine whose first husband coached aspiring young figure skaters who dreamt of Olympic gold. She said what struck her was how these young athletes were so driven and given to the pursuit of excellence in their sports, that they knew little else- including other outside activities and relationships.

No doubt- Dale Earnhardt’s single-minded drive to just make it to NASCAR cost him his first two marriages. Little is known about the circumstances, but anyone who’s had to put long hours in on a demanding job knows how this can potentially ruin a relationship.

A part of the magic, the glue that held Earnhardt’s 19-year marriage to Teresa together was Dale’s inclusion of Teresa in his world. The daughter of racer Hal Houston, the 3rd wife of the NASCAR legend understood the demands of the sport on his time. The fact she that she, in a sense became a business partner, gave them more time together. She may not have had a clue about tuning an engine, but she was relied upon by her husband to dot the “i’s” and cross the “t’s”. A great deal of Earnhardt’s money came from merchandising, and Teresa handled that end of things quite well. Fans may have strong opinions about how Dale Jr’s situation got handled and you know, folks are entitled to their opinion. Still, the truth cannot be argued that Dale Earnhardt had a great fondness for his wife, and she for him. He considered himself a lucky man and who am I to argue. 

We may not be talking any real racing here, but I think to get the complete picture of one of NASCAR’s greatest, one needs to examine this side of the man. For me, this reshaped my view of a man, whose on-track methods I did not always agree with.

Knowing what I know now, I better understand what drove some of his thought processes, and I have grown to respect and appreciate the fondness his biggest fans had for him. Dale Earnhardt may have been rough around the edges, but behind the rawhide exterior beat a heart of gold.

Time and space don’t permit me to get into all the stories of Earnhardt’s love and generosity. I’d just encourage race fans to take the time as I have to learn who the real Dale Earnhardt was.

It will open your eyes. It did mine.

(Photo by Ted Van Pelt. More of his photography can be found at flickr.com.)

TOMORROW: Remembering Dale- The Final Chapter.